Before anything, i would like to share a stupidity that transpired between my best friend Sharon and I past midnight yesterday morning.
....so at some point during our chat, I remembered for the gazillion time that I had an early class by dawn and though I had probably said goodnight, it didn't stop our chat. I made the wise choice of bathing before sleeping for a max of 4hours because am sure I would wake up late and there would be no time for my routine 30minutes in the bathroom.
Unfortunately for me, though now it's fortunately I decided to say goodnight one last time. We were chatting over BBM and I knew I should have just gone to bed without a goodnight text because few minutes later the kindof of argument I found myself in with this dumbass I never hexperrerit.
Sharon had said something about pain being for the weak and futhermore mentioned that pain wasn't real. WTF!!! I was quick to fight back saying it takes courage to feel and pain is real.
It didn't take time before Sharon turned on me and everything I have ever cried about.
"You even cried for an episode of The Vampire diaries" she said probably mockingly.
Y'all see why she is a dumbass?
I mean why shouldn't I cry? Bonnie got stuck and she didn't make it back to life with Damon and it was so unfair. C'mon, it wasn't fair. She hasn't given up to much for everyone and even at the end, she saved Damon even if it meant not coming along. Oh by the way, do you guys know Bonnie (Kat) and Damon (Lan) are best friends in reality? Cool right? And also did you know she is a singer and a dancer and she is so gooooood! I love her.
Okay back to business, Sharon kept hitting that I felt things too much and I hold on to hurts and pain when I can just let go and be something more like.....uhmm let's see Mitchel Obama (am not even sure that's the correct spelling of her name and too lazy to stop typing and look it up).
Sharon said lots of things about me in the meanest words possible. Okay maybe am exaggerating.
But somehow, most of it were true. She has been my best friend for years now and there are a few things I can bet on in this whole universe and Sharon loving me is one of them but at that moment all my heart heard was
"Am tired of you and all your orishirishi drama. Am tired of the demons you let haunt you. Am tired!!!"
I went to bed mad at her and yet the rabbit had the audacity to show up in my dream like nothing happened and she was nice to me. Here's the part where I mention Sharon is not a nice person.
I woke up the next morning expecting to see an "Am sorry for being mean" message but nada, there wasn't nothing.
I was mad as I dressed up for school. I didn't even feel like school. I decided to put off my data and wifi off so no one Sharon will be able to contact me. I even decided to delete BBM app, whatsapp, everything so Sharon and her mean self will be without me. #hahahahahahaha
Before I continue, I will like to announce to everyone that my guardian angel is british or australian or whatever but he's a fine nigga and he has a very fine accent.
Ehen. As I was walking to school angry ofcourse, I heard him ask me
"Are you alrai?"
And I went all out on how I hated Sharon and the more I talked to him, in my head of course before anyone thinks me crazy. Okay am crazy. Y'all are free to think. I realised how my anger was proving everything Sharon said right. I was getting angry because Sharon won an argument which she used my life as a focal point and implied that am weak and I feel things too much and this and that and that.....right now I can't remember all the reason I was angry. When I calmed a little, my guardian angel made a joke about my straight face being caused about a girl still on bed and sleeping and for the first time that morning I laughed out loud.
Truth is everything Sharon said about me was true but I still held on to "she could have been nice about it"
You see, you can say 50 sentence to me but the only thing that will catch me is that one sentence that hurts me. The rest mean nothing.
I have this strange habit of fishing for pain, hurt, disappointment, in everything because....I sincerely do not know (I probably know and am not sharing but oh well..)
"You chose pain as your selling point" This was Sharon.
And I doubt am the only one but if I am that would be so cool 'cause no one deserves that kinda life. I quit!!!
If am not, oh well. You probably do not know but this is it. We always have a reason to believe others deserve happiness not us. Others have a reason to be happy and not us because you know, it has never been fair when it comes to us. Life. Love. Career. Nothing has been fair. Some of us tend to blame it on something, someone and the most frequent someone I have seen is parents. Most blame it on their parents. Am not saying you don't have a right to be mad at bad parenting, you do. Some of us have suffered negligence, verbal and physical abuse, emotional distress from parents and you sure as hell have the right to get mad or get hurt. It's okay to be hurt just as it is okay to realize that you and Obama are under the same sky. okay that probably doesn't make sense
And everything you have been through doesn't define you, everything you have faced doesn't define you never has and never will.
There is hurt here, Earth that can't be fixed with poetry or blogs or music or bandage we all know that but pain, pain is all on you. Pain is your choice. And once you choose pain, it demands to be felt.
You see, hurt is the injury and pain is the feeling.
You can"t choose wether to get hurt or not but you can choose wether to feel pain, how long to feel pain or not to feel it.
Some of us are still in pain over hurts that happened a long time ago and we have let it control and cloud our judgement. If you don't want to let go, that's fine I didn't either it took a mean fellow to make me realize that I have felt some stuffs long enough and it's time for bigger and better mistakes.
I remember this day, I was probably four going to five. I was out playing with some friends, I had a jean overall on and I was pressed. I wanted to poo so bad that my only option was to run home but on my way running I pooed on my pant. I remember my reaction, I cried and kept on running home. I remember it like yesterday. I remember my first real crush, I was 14, Maxwell. My first real kiss was from him. I remember it like yesterday how shy I was, it's hard to believe its been 6years. I remember when I turned 18, I was disappointed 'cause I thought my parents would start treating me like an adult and nope, nothing! I remember everything so well like it was yesterday. My point is one day, am going to wake up and am 80 and am going to remember the argument Sharon and I had like it was the previous day and I won't want to regret not letting go because I had my hands so tied on pains I refused to let go that I missed out in all the beauty life has got to offer.
Everyone, welcome to Earth beautiful and terrible things happen.
Okay am so done. Let's get to the fun part shall we???? #hehehehehehe
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| She kept talking about food being the payment for all the pictures. |
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| Well, the fact that I look girly doesn't mean I should act it *straight face* |
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| When I first came to EMU, I was told this was a shrine and today I just had to check. It's empty though. |
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| Auto door has closed and she is still taking pictures of me. Paparrazi!!! |
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| I totally love this whatever it's called. |
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| Picture didn't do him justice, nigga is fine! |
I want to say a big thank you to my boo of life Shola for all the pictures. Really, I wish I can fulfill my promise of cooking for you but after posting this, na sleep get me. But am sure my love is enough payment. I love you ***muuuaaah!
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