2015: A POEM NO ONE CAN WRITE FOR ME.

Frankly, I don't know much about myself.

Am a girl with no favorite food or drink or anything.

No, I do not believe in love at first sight.

I believe in love at first speech though.

First tear shared with me. First passion shared. First music played,

First everything that just isn't looks.

I believe looks hides alot.

Happy clingy girls are my favourite.

Broken boys always have me running down like a 5 foot 8 healer.

Believe me I know I can't fix it but I always believe I can atleast help.

My life is not going the way I planned it at 16

If it was I should own my tv show now

Be bestfriends with two awesome rock stars and a pretty Igbo girl who I loved.

Engaged to Maxwell Ofuyah

But you see, am sitting on my reading table right now writing this and not a tv show

My best-friends aren't rock stars. YET

Am surprised it took me just a few seconds to recall Maxwell's fullname

No my friend, this wasn't what I had in mind.

I want to say that I wouldn't have wanted it any other way else but this way

but that would just be a lie.

I still wish things turned out that way except the engagement part

nigga turned out to be a jerk.

What I love most about myself is how I don't know what I love most about myself

I love my money where I can see them

In a smile which doesn't have to be my cheeks

In my wardrobe hanging beautifully as clothes.

On my wardrobe arranged with no pattern as shoes.

I love to kiss the eyes.

And I love to be kissed on the lips.

I have kissed a girl on the lips and it wasn't awkward.

No, am not gay nor bisexual.

Out of 244 months on Earth, I have only loved my self for 4

My story is a heartbreak changed my life but not it.

A pink shoe did.

See, it was my birthday and it was just another day to not love myself

I look up to her like a goddess and I always wondered why she stuck with

me and called me bestfriend.

"Pick anything you want, just one"

I walked round the store searching for what I wanted trying not to cry

Each step I wondered why she was here and what she saw in me.

I didn't see it but if she did, I believe her.

Faith, the evidence of things not seen. True that!

She is a really big evidence.
So I got a pink shoe and a decision to believe in me through her

4months, I don't see clearly yet but I see

I see the girl who loves to stare 

It has gotten me into lots of trouble though

 I see the girl that has accepted that it wasn't her fault that male relatives

sexually abused at 7 and 8 and couldn't say a word to anyone

and for years she had to wonder if she was a virgin or not.

She didn't know if being touched places she shouldn't have and

her hands being forced to touch places on him her little mind knew she shouldn't 

be seeing, talk more touching takes away her virginity.

At 13, her cousin told her what he wanted to do with her body

"I just hate blood, so you have to go get disvirgined then come back" he said

She had to grow feeling worthless

She has grown from the girl who believed that all a boy can ever want in her was her body,

to this pretty lady who knows that good men exist and they will love you for your smile.

Your stupidity. Your tears. Your love for blind arguments.

Your zeal to lead and they won't be intimidated.

Your free spirit and your spontaneous soul

And when men look at you it won't be for the boobs. Atleast not just the boobs!

It would be for how amazing and scary you are. 

I see the girl who loves to try new things in the kitchen and most times come out 

with complete disasters.

My sight is still blurry but there's no way I can miss seeing this girl

She's bad at taking advices and good at giving and her advice is sometimes terrible.

She is mostly looking down in pictures and I don't know why

I see her. I see me. I see me.

I hate flowers but I love being given one.

Am not your normal go to church Christian

What I have learnt about God outside the church is far greater than what I learnt in.

I don't want to be wedded in a church nor during the day.

I don't want a long wedding gown

I am surely not going to have just one bridesmaid

It's pretty difficult to surprise me so I pray my engagement does surprise me.

I want to adopt kids from different races 

 I can kill for my mum

I just need poison 

Like I said, I don't know much about myself.

But I know this

I believe in God. I get mad at Him some times but I believe in Him.

I believe He has a plan

I believe it's perfect.

I believe it will turn out good and if it doesn't, when I get to heaven

me and God go settle am.

I don't know much about myself but I know this

I am worth it.