Stay with me...

A few days ago, I was really broke well am always broke but this one was a special kind cause it was my birthday as well and though it was a family tradition to receive birthday money, this year I didn’t. I just decided my parents have either concluded this is the year they stop pampering me or maybe this Buhari regime has brought a change in the tradition but well me I no con send I ate my noodles and went to sleep hoping to eat the pizza I was craving in my sleep.

I woke up late that afternoon even for dream sef I still broke so there was no pizza for me and then I decided to have my bath. I do this stupid thing when am extremely sad of putting on the shower and seating on the bath basin then I pretend its rainfall. Sometimes I cry while other times I just think of the girl who emailed me and said I made her day and other times I write (in my head of course). This particular day wasn’t bad or good or anything I was just extremely broke so I sat down there and everything sat with me. No thoughts, no nothing just water drops falling down on me. As I was there doing nothing I remembered the first time I bathed in a shower. I am not so sure which year but it should be around 2005. It was in church. My father being a crazy amazing man (the root of all my madness) had set a time and whoever wasn’t in the car by that time would be left behind and if you are left behind that is 12 strokes of the cane, so me and my ajayi sef that never sticks to time kept merry-go-rounding until it was time. Mehn nobody told me I packed all my kaya and flew into the car half ready. So when we got to the church the bathroom was my first point of call. Na there I con notice say the shower was working. It was like Christmas for me. I kuku pull all my clothes and stayed there playing under water with my follow follow younger sister and the thing that saved our asses was that my mum didn’t go to Sunday school to check up on us else hmmm the kin beating my dad would have given us immediately we got home ehhn would have changed our destinies I even for no get this blog sef.

So like play like play it became a ritual, every Sunday before or after church sometimes both my siblings and I will go and play under shower. Toh no be we kill abacha. We had prepared a sad story of how we don’t have shower in our house that was why we always skip church activities to go and play just in case my dad ever got us and luckily he never did.

Year after year, Aunty grow breast, enter boarding school then repented. I come back house they form big girl that’s how my shower escapades stopped.

I still remember the day my mum called me in school to inform me they renovate the house and we now have shower in our bathroom and few days later she called again to say one of my sibling had pneumonia because they all were constantly playing under the shower morning till night even when it’s cold. You go blame them? For once they get to enjoy ajebutter life.

But fast forward to 2016 aunty dey school abroad. Aunty don dey wear bra sef. Aunty dey use shower on a daily.

I thank God for the talent to make myself laugh because on days like this, days like this as written by the talented Rudy Francisco “when all I have are piles of dirty clothes laughter becomes my only clean shirt”. I laughed until I had enough strength to pick myself up off the shower basin.

Am sure everybody has their throwback stories and most of us are surely not where we want to be yet. We still get broke somedays unable to get yourself pizza. We still listen to our parents in silence as they complain bitterly about the economy on the other end of the phone and at that moment you can picture exactly how their face looks. You can see the wrinkles that has gathered on their face. You can see the sadness in their eyes and the only thing you feel is powerless. You hear the heavy sigh that comes after the complains and the “God will see us through” speech but you don’t believe that do you? You believe you should do something and not wait for God who is probably too busy helping Khloe Kardashian lose weight and then quietly they ask you “how are you? How is studies? Hope you still have money with you?” to which you reply “Fine, fine. Yes” But that’s a lie isn’t it. You are not fine. There’s a course you don’t understand and might withdraw from after the midterms. The money finished two weeks ago did they even calculate the dollar equivalent before they sent and assume it will be enough for you till Jesus arrives? You are not fine but you say you are. Isn’t it?

Me too. Am not fine either. We are not fine together.

Some days are harder than some but always remember it doesn’t matter if you boil the egg or you intend to fry it, you need to break the shell to get out the goodness. So you stay with me okay?

No one ever promised us the journey will be easy but each morning when I wake, no matter how bad it looks I am grateful that this isn’t the destination. We are still moving. We are still growing and we are closer with each step. So stay with me. Okay? Stay here with me. Don’t go back, don’t lay on the floor when you fall, don’t give up let’s keep growing, let’s keep moving. We have a world to rule. The world is waiting.

We will get there.

We will get there.

Stay with me.

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